the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
should my penis look like a turkey
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
