college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
