i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Randomize
