Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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