I puked a lego.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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