i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
