Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
operation have a gay friend backfired
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize