Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
