I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
pray to the hookup gods
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
