He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
