I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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