i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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