stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
