Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
