Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
