It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize