HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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