so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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