1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
