The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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