She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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