i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize