she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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