6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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