Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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