so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
