does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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