You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Randomize
