I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I am spending my child support on dildos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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