and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
