I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
