Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
whose parrot is this?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
