No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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