SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Sober January is a disaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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