Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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