im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
