Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
