D3 body, D1 cock
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I look better un-naked...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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