Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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