I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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