I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
