When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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