i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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