this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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