we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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