Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
