New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize