You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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