I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
