How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
