ya dads aren't the best wingmen
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
